Fragments part 3 - Murasaki

“Aki-kun, I…I..” he stuttered dragging me in full alarm. There was a taint of red on both his cheeks shooing my very heart to beat in haste. I knew where this will lead to, I knew it, yet I was too stunned, my feet too rooted to the ground and I could not get away.

“Shi-“

“Aki-kun,” he called my name again this time with determination. Even still with a red face Senpai looked at me straight in the eyes, gathering every piece of his courage back in place. “Will you go out together with me?”

 Silence ensued between us. I looked into his eyes and he in mine. It wasn’t fair, his sat protected behind those glasses, thus shielding them from my glorious stare. I showed no emotion on my face.

“I really need to go back home, Shiki-senpai.” I stepped away all at once, without turning, almost running.

“Aki-kun, wait!” Before he could say anything, I was gone, lost, disappeared beyond the corner as swift as shadows. I was glad that my gait made no sound and the thick pad of my snickers made my step almost noiseless. He won’t know which way I went, surely.

Akari appeared jogging beside me as I walked. I was damn sure she heard it. Lurking somewhere in the shadow she did, and of course she heard it. I couldn’t cover my anger as I heard her giggled.

“What are you sniggering at?!”

“You shouldn’t turn down a senpai like that, it’s rude,” she said, a smile on her face.

“I’m just not interested,” I said rather absently.

“Are you? Thehehee… and what were all the running about? Does your heart beat so fast?” Instantly, all my senses were made aware of the crazy drum in my chest.

“DOKUN, DOKUN!” Akari mocked. My cheeks started to grow hot. Damn it! I’m blushing, when did it get there?! “That’s a good girl. Why not turn back now and wait for Shiki-senpai to come and chase after you, Aki-kun?”

“Stop teasing me! I don’t want it to become that way. I’m not girly like any other girl. My hair’s short. I don’t know how to cook. I don’t speak decently to people and he is just too polite, too kind… he’s not supposed to be with me!” And calling me with the nickname my course mates call me, highlighting and knowing all my flaws, what was he thinking?!

********

Purple. I always love that colour. I like it because I think I will look good in it. I remembered I had a purple clothe once when I was in school. I love it so much and even my self-esteem boost up to the fullest wearing it. Right now, I don’t even have a purple clothe.

“Why do you want to have a purple clothe now?” Akari asked as we walked along the corridor. My eyes widened a little. “No, the real question is, why do you want to look good now, instead of being so self-contiousless as you were before?” I turned my head to my side facing her. I knew this will happen. I twitched as she laughed merrily by my side.

“So, he still shows up, Shiki-senpai, even he was being rejected so many times. That is quite admirable,” she said. I sighed disdainfully and walked ahead of her. I will give you the luxury to laugh at me this time, Akari. Just this time.

Then, just ahead of me, I saw him again, noting, pausing, raising one arm, waving at me, smiling. I couldn’t help but to witness things almost in slow motion. I wondered why, I think everything was lulled in his presence, as if everything will be drawn to his warmth, his kindness. Almost in an instant I will long for the purple clothe I wear in school, as if it could save me. Then, I will gasp, red-faced, and things will start to move normally again. Soon, I will realize that I need to run away from him as I always did in our many encounters at the collage.  

I did give a hint, right? Why did he keep coming back?  And, I hate the way that guy put an effect on me.

*******

“Ah, Aki-kun! I have been looking for you!”

Perhaps, he’s blind.

*******

“Aki-kun, will you go out with me this weekend? But, if you’re busy, it’s okay.”

He’s blind.

*******

“Aki-kun, that thing looks heavy. Let me help you.”

He’s so clueless.

*******

“Ah, Aki-kun!”

He’s definitely clueless.

*******

“Aki-kun!”

BAKA!

*******

I stopped. I was planning to run away again, but this time for some awkward reasons, I stopped. Even Shiki-senpai had not said a word when I halted. Perhaps, it surprised him a bit.

“You are a persistent kind, Senpai. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Huh?” I turned around facing him. I just realized then, how small his frame is for a guy and his features, his eyes are soft and kind-looking that you won’t be afraid of him. I mean, it was natural to fear a Senpai, but the person standing in front of me was just only a bit taller than me. The reason people respect him, I supposed, the reason people like him, WHY I like him is what he really is!

“Why are you so persistent, Shiki-senpai? Starting from that day and even until now.”

“I guess it just can’t be help.” Despite my rage he began to smile and laughed stupidly. “ I have fallen for you. Even though you don’t accept it, by just meeting you, it makes me happy.”

“But why Senpai? Why did you act like nothing happen?” I demanded, this time feeling a bit superior. Recognizing my anger, just once, there was a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

“I realize that you keep running away from me, Aki-kun.”

“Drop the suffix, please, Senpai.”

“Yappari, you didn’t like the name people call you. I’m sorry.” It didn’t bother me but it sounded weird when you uttered so.

“Well, I realize that you keep running away from me, Aki, but you have not driven me away. Not even once.” With that we both fell silent. My cheeks threateningly became warmer as I caught sight of a slight red taint on his face. Only when the feeling of discomfort started to set foot between us I sighed and started to say something.

“Well, we just don’t suit together, see, Senpai? I’m a boyish girl and you are… It is the same like colours, alright? You are like… Beige… and I am hot Red. Beige and Red do not mix well together.”

“Murasaki.”

“Eh?”

“You are not Red, Aki-kun, I mean Aki. I think you are purple.” My eyes widened a little to his remarks. At that time I could feel the tinge of curiosity, surprise and awe, lurching from inside of me in waves.

“It’s the colour that symbolizes mystery and spirituality. As intriguing as it is, purple has both warm and cool properties, that it can calm but invigorate your spirit at the same time, like the flower of lavander. Really, it is quite unbelievable, don’t you think, that only when we mix the strong warm and the strong cool colour, red and blue, two unique paradoxes, purple was borne. It is the same as you, Aki. I guess, the colour suits you better. I don’t know whether it will mix well with beige, though,” he said scratching the back of his head, a soft smile absently forming on his lips.

Purple and beige do mix well together… the extra ordinary and the ordinary…

Should I rejoice the words which I just heard or should I not? Perhaps I should but I felt like crying instead. Though a senpai he may seem to be, though a terrifyingly kind one as compared to myself, I knew as plain as day what I felt in my heart. With a mirthless smile I turned away. He didn’t stop me, though, knowing that I will still run if he did. He just stood there, saying no words at all, accepting things.

That was why after a few steps I stopped.

“Shiki-senpai, I didn’t deny that I like you myself, personally, as what I am. But, there are other things that concern me so bad that I couldn’t do things simply like a good girl. Senpai, let me give you a good advice –

- don’t get too close to me, or you will end up getting hurt.”