Fragments part 6 - Ryougi

“Akari?”

“My childhood friend,” I told him as I scooped up a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. “She always came to tease me, the good for nothing girl.”

“Ano naa, Aki…”

“Always immature, always has some strange thoughts in her head, always talks so loudly that it is annoying, always embarrasses me…” the list went on and I could hear Senpai’s sigh as I said them.  “Always says that she’s strong. If she is why does she always come to me?  Always shows a fake smile even though it hurts. That stupid girl, she never grows up!

“The only thing she ever made me feel happy was when she played the piano for me. She’s very good in it, really, and I like it when she plays this one song that she said from Shakespeare’s movie. What is it called I wonder….”

“You two are closed I see,” Senpai said rather suddenly that I was lulled from my thoughts for a fraction of second.

“Emm… missetsu ka na…” I wondered if it was really a proper word. I gazed up to the sky and watched the white wooly clouds moving like snails. Shiki-senpai who was sitting beside me on the bench sighed contently. I was sure he was doing the same. The park was not too crowded at this hour and I thought it was a good thing too.  

Matte! Why did I speak about that brat on my first date with Senpai?! I turned to face him and saw his smiling face. I instantly turned away as my face felt hot. Baka! He was at fault too in this, he’s the one who kept making a kind face that I was carried away with my childish story with Akari. I wondered if I had spoiled the day and the impression he always had in  mind.

“Nee, Shiki-senpai.”

“Nani?”

“Ryougi no koto kiita koto aru ka?”

“Ryougi? It was an old Chinese teaching, isn’t it? The Yin and Yang,” he said as he wondered. I gazed at the empty ice cream cup in my hand.

“It isn’t exactly the Yin and Yang. Well, the symbol of Yin and Yang shows the intertwined black and white semicircles symbolizing two contradictory but complementary elements; light and darkness, positive and negative, man and woman. The small hole in both of them is the spiral of rivalry with contradiction. In the teaching of yin and yang this is what they call Ryougi; the state where the original is inseparably split in two.

“Everyone has a little of the opposite within them. A person, for instance, no matter how small would still have a little of dominant side in them. A man too, no matter how hard would still possess gentleness akin to the women’s. A coward would still have some courage concealed in them. And reality would still contain pieces of dreams within it.

“Yes, reality and dreams… because they are complementary, because they cannot be separated, because each had the pieces of each one of them inside, reality and dreams sometimes cannot be distinguished.

Senpai…

Shinjitsu wa nan darou…

Yume ya nan darou…

Which one should we aim for?

Which one should we save?

Dream without reality is bottomless despair and Reality without dreams is emptiness…

Just like Reality and Dreams me and Akari… we…” my voice trailed away as I looked into Senpai’s eyes. He was looking at me with such serious eyes that my heart almost stopped. His pairs, I believed, were the most beautiful pairs in the world even behind those glasses. As confusion dawned on them, his innocent eyes became… quite amusing.

“Thehehehe…What I mean is that… what I mean is that… Akari and I are… and even Shiki-senpai, perhaps… are what Ryougi is like.” For the first time in life, I let out such a stupid laugh from my mouth.

*******

I quickly scurried out of the convenient store carrying with me some packets of instant coffee and another cup of strawberry ice cream. Outside Senpai stood far a way at the side of the road waving at me. I smiled and eagerly walked towards him like a child. I didn’t know why, being in his presence I couldn’t stop myself being childish. And, even at the mall we went to earlier I almost longed for a cute T-shirted teddy bear on the shelves. And I am twenty-years old!

At that moment, I saw a man in messy clothes walked and swayed near Senpai. Senpai, in his excitement was totally focusing on me and was unaware of the drunken man. They bumped onto each other and the wretched fell down to his knees on the ground. Realizing what had happened, Senpai quickly moved to his aid, helping him back to his feet, apologizing so many times. A kind person he was, I whispered to myself, and he even showed concern to a stupid helpless stranger who bumped on him on a wide street.

Suddenly, the man grabbed onto Senpai’s collar and shouted at him. I was so surprised that I stopped. People on the street started to stare as if they were criminals. The drunken slum might but Senpai isn’t. I could feel the surging heat within my veins as he held his collar back and forth forcing his head to lurch ever so painfully. Just when I felt that, wordlessly, unexpectedly, he shoved Senpai forcefully away towards the street and I could hear the siren of the car roaring so thunderously in my ears.

In that instant, everything faded to black.

*******

The darkness lifted.

The first thing I saw was my small hand clutching at the bastard's neck.

There was a voice which had kept calling my name. AkiAkiAkiAki it said. How annoying. The man underneath me gasped. I could feel his useless attempt to breathe as his chest gave a helpless slow push against my knees. Instantly, my rage intensified and I hardened my grip to his neck almost crushing his windpipe.

“Aki, please, let go of him!” Senpai’s voice snapped my head back to reality. Immediately, my grip loosened and I looked confusedly at the man beneath me who was then coughing and struggling for breath.

“Shi…ki-senpai?”

“Aki.” I moved away, frightened with what happened. The man crawled on his feet shooting a sharp scornful yet horrified stare at me.

“Monster. Die, you monster!” he walked away fast, tumbling onto a dustbin as he went.

“Aki, are you alright?” Shiki-senpai knelt beside me holding both my shoulders.

“Shiki-senpai…” Tears started to form at the corner of my eyes. “Shiki-senpai.” He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his warm arms protectively around me.

“It’s okay, Aki. It’s okay.” Tears were falling down wetting his dark shirt.