Fragments part 8 - Chi to namida

“Aki, it’s late, I’ll walk you home.” Reaching under the lamp post, he stopped. He took off his coat and put it around me.

“It must be cold wearing that,” he said with a smile.

“Well, thank you.” I said almost a whisper.

“Say, Aki, aren’t you mad at me now?” Yeah, I had almost forgotten that I was angry at him. I thought he was going to wear traditional clothes for the festival. Well, everybody will for such festival. It took me great pains to break the familiarity by wearing a kimono.

It’s the first time I ever appeared like a girl, and I had gone to a great length by borrowing it from a friend, despite of how embarrassed I might feel wearing it. Yet, he appeared that night wearing no other but his favourite black jacket.

“I’m sorry, Aki. I promise I will wear a hakama next time,” he said apologetically.

“No, it’s okay. I’m no longer mad at you,” I said with a poker face trying not to appear as forgiving. But, unconsciously I raised my hand to my hair feeling the texture of a hairpin Shiki-senpai had bought for me. It was smooth and cold against my skin.

“Really? Jaa, yokatta.” He smiled so innocently that I was forced to turn away. I’m not going to blush in front of him again, it’s pathetic. Yet, the warmth raised to cheeks very slowly much to my despair.

“We need to make a turn here, Senpai,” I said as we reached a black alley.

“Wow, it’s dark. You shouldn’t go home late, Aki. Not when you are not with someone,” I heard him said. It’s the road I took everyday, with companion or without. If there weren’t really someone, it was not like I had a choice. Most of the time I would walk alone, feeling the strange sensation as the darkness swallowed me in. I didn’t really mind and I didn’t feel fear. Because, the darkness that loomed around my entire being was no more than a sad loneliness. Really, nothing ever happen. Senpai must have read a gory thriller recently, I mused to myself.

But, I was wrong that night. No, the life had gone wrong, destiny, fate and everything, and I was left to nothing else to blame as two black figures approached us.

“Well, well, look what we have here.”

Senpai quickly pulled me behind him trying his best to shield me from the devils’ view. I knew that it would be useless.

“What do you want?” Senpai’s voice was calm yet I could feel that he was worried. “If you want money then-"

“Nii-san, money has become the second place since there’s an interesting jewel behind you.” I felt Senpai’s slight grip on my wrist as the two men laughed. Suddenly, the huge man grabbed hold of Senpai’s collar and slammed him painfully onto the wall.

“Shiki-senpai!” Instantly, I felt someone grabbing me from behind, a hand covering my mouth so that I could not scream. There was a glint of a knife. I could feel its steely coldness on my neck. I heard Senpai’s worried voice calling my name and I saw him being slammed against the wall again, hitting his head. This time, he fell limply on the floor. The man stood over him, towering upon his frail form as he looked dazedly upwards, a line of blood trailing down his temple.

The man who was holding me started to caress my body. He pulled the kimono down determined to peal off the white nagajuban I was wearing. Soon, I realized that I had more to lose that night than simply a scar and a scary memory. But, my eyes were locked on Senpai as he was stamped and kicked over and over again.

I struggled a little as if it would stop the whole thing. The blade came so close against my neck that it bled. But, I cared none at all. It didn’t concern me right then. My heart was viciously thorn, as I heard Senpai coughed painfully on the floor. My world became a frightening blur as I heard the sound of ribs breaking.

*******

Aki Aki. The soft voice rang in my head.

Aki, help me! I knew from the start that she’s been crying. What a bad happy mask she put on.

Atashi ga saisho kara kiete shimatte ii noni…

No, I won’t let him kill you!

*******

Blood spurred like rain. The knife that stayed within my hand spun around faster than my own eyes could catch. I heard scream echoed through the alley but scream did not entertain me as much as death would. One slice, one throat and the last monster fall to his knees, spurting blood on his way. My kimono was soaked crimson down to my feet. The hot rivulet was dripping down to the solid ground where I was standing, flowing slowly to where Senpai laid. His eyes were wide as he looked up at me from behind. I didn’t need to turn around to know this. In fact, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see that horrid looks in his eyes, yes, as he saw the real monster within me.

“Sorry…” Wet tears came down, mixing up with the bloody smear on my face. I knew I will lose everything, ever since we knew each other. Despite of knowing this… despite of knowing this… I still hurt people. “I’m sorry…

…Shiki.”